Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
