Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
