Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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