"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
