I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
