If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
