The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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