I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
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I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
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He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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