...so i touched it.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
