youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize