well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
