me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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