is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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