u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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