drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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