I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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