Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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