I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
