Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
