Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
