billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I still have a little drunk in my system
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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