I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
