the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
