My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
