capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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