You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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