I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
