First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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