I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
