wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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