do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I lost the right to judge tonight
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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