She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
