That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
