What a fucking waste of an outfit
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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