she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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