Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
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I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
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He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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