If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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