I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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