meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
