i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
bring money and cleavage
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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