Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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