i don't like sucking hair
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's never too late to be topless.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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