you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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