that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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