We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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