he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize