I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
