we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
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so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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