Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize