I just pynch a tree in the face
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
