i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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