The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
