Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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