Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize