Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
