The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
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She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
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I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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