So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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