idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
