Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
this is an emotional support booty call
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
